Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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