Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
