you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
