I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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