oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
