I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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