I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
