Just cropdusted the office
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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