I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
