No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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