I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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