The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
