I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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