Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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