when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
