She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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