Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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