what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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