did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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