I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
