Cold hands, warm shart.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
