I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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