is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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