Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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