All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
