Sry I called you an 8
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I AM VODKA MAN
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
