i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
