First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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