if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
