Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
