Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i dont even know how to be here
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
