it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
These tits shall not be calmed
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
