Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
