I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
