Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
