Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
is wine microwaveable?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the liver wants what the liver wants
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
