You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
