woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think your dad took our porno
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
