I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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