I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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