Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
