Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
