Don't make out with my wife yet
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
