I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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