i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
