i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
