I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
