Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she smelled like a LAN party
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
