Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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