Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
