Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
